Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
I thought my windows was done but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced
at my mother-in-law and headed over the
embankment.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and
was on my way home. As I reached an intersection,
a hedge sprange up, obscuring my vision and
I did not see the other car.
I had been driving for 40 years when I feel asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end
trouble when my universal joint gave way causing
me to have an accident.
As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly
appeared in a place where no stop sign had
ever appeared before. I was unable to stop
in time to avoid the accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured but
on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured
skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran over him.
I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of my car.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting
to swerve out of its way when it struck
my front end.
What kids think about love :) it's just too funny! :)
SB!
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KIDS: AND THE ORIGINS OF LOVE
CONCERNING THE ORIGINS OF LOVE
"Cupid kissed God and that got the ball rollin'."
Julio, age 9
"One of the Greek lady gods got a crush on
one of the Greek man gods. he tried to hit her with
lightning and thunderbolts, but he just couldn't
get her away from him ... After a while, they
became the first married gods.
Robbie, age 8
CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds
somebody else who has freckles too."
Andrew, age 6
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard
it has something to do with how you smell
...That's why perfume and deodorant are so
popular.
Mae, age 9
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an
arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't
supposed to be so painful."
Manuel, age 8
ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for
your life."
John, age 9
"If falling in love is anything like learning
how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long."
Glenn, age 7
ON THE ROLE OF BEAUTY AND HANDSOMENESS IN LOVE
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't
already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be
beautiful."
Anita C., age 8
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at
me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got
anybody to marry me yet."
Brian, age 7
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are
can last a long time."
Christine, age 9
REFLECTIONS ON THE NATURE OF LOVE
"Love is the most important thing in the world,
but baseball is pretty good too."
Greg, age 8
HOW DO PEOPLE IN LOVE TYPICALLY BEHAVE?
"Mooshy ... like puppy dogs ... except puppy
dogs don't wag their tails nearly as much."
Arnold, age 10
"When a person gets kissed for the first time,
they fall down and they don't get up for at least
an hour."
Wendy, age 8
"All of a sudden, the people get movies fever
so they can sit together in the dark."
Sherm, age 8
CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall
off because they paid good money for them."
Gavin, age 8
"They are just practicing for when they might
have to walk down the aisle someday and do the
holy matchimony thing."
John, age 9
CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't
happen when 'Dinosaurs'is on television."
Jill, age 6
"Love is foolish ... but I still might try
it sometime."
Floyd, age 9
"Yesterday I kissed a girl in a private place
... We were behind a tree."
Carey, age 7
"Love will find you, even if you are trying
to hide from it. I've been trying to hide from it since
I was five, but the girls keep finding me."
Dave, age 8
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding
fourth grade hard enough."
Regina, age 10
THE PERSONAL QUALITIES YOU NEED TO HAVE IN
ORDER TO BE A GOOD
LOVER
"Sensitivity don't hurt."
Robbie, age 8
"One of you should know how to write a check.
Because, even if you have tons of love, there
is still going to be a lot of bills."
Ava, age 8
SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy
stores."
Del, age 6
"Shake your hips and hope for the best."
Camille, age 9
"Yell out that you love them at the top of
your lungs ... and don't worry if their parents are
right there."
Manuel, age 8
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers.
You might get attention, but attention ain't
the same thing as love."
Alonzo, age 9
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make
sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries
usually works for me."
Bart, age 9