- Wacky Definitions
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.)
The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through
a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.) Satan
in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning
and cannot be cast out.
Bozone (n.) The substance
surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas penetrating. The bozone
layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration (n.) The
act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for
an indefinite period.
Caterpallor (n.) The
colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
Decaflon (n.) The gruelling
event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for
you.
Dopelar effect (n.) The
tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.
Extraterrestaurant (n.)
An eating place where you feel you've been abducted and experimented on.
Also known as ETry.
Faunacated (adj.) How
wildlife ends up when its environment is destroyed. Hence faunacatering
(n.), which has made a meal of many species.
Foreploy (n.) Any misrepresentation
or outright lie about yourself that leads to sex.
Grantartica (n.) The cold, isolated place where arts companies without funding dwell.
Hemaglobe (n.) The bloody state of the world.
Intaxication (n.) Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
Kinstirpation (n.) A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit.
Lullabuoy (n.) An idea
that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to
sleep.
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I cannot accept,
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people
I had to kill today because they pissed me off
and also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today,
as they may be connected to the ass
that I may have to kiss tomorrow."
[email protected]
(Hey don't look at me... I just
found
these!)
Feel
free to submit!